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Archive for August 2012


All the usual elements you’d expect in a Central London club are here at Disco 24 club – Disco 24 now renamed Bond Nightclub the jostling paparazzi outside, the closely guarded red roped entrance and the exclusive seating areas complete with waitress service and bed-like seats so vast that you could easily grab a few minutes shut-eye if you weren’t leaping up every five minutes to dance around the table. In fact, it’s exactly the kind of club that many a Londoner professes to hate without ever having set foot inside. But this is where the cynical will struggle as in spite of ticking all the boxes, Disco 24 club has gone that step further when it comes to technology adding up to a Central London club that is not only good but great.

If you don't manage to make it into one of the private hire seating areas at Disco 24 club, you can still have plenty of fun at the freestanding I-Bar that is placed between the bar and the seating areas. Move your hand across its illuminated surface to watch designs blossom at your touch. Floor to ceiling screens behind every seating area are also constantly changing – and you can decide what you want to see on the screens, that is when you can tear yourself away from changing the interactive table tops. It would be a shame to simply sit at your table all night though. The simple black and white colour scheme works as the perfect backdrop to a venue where clearly disco is king. The DJ box at the far end is a focal point throughout the night as shapes are thrown and cares are shimmyed away.




Address: 24 Kingly Street, Soho, London,W1B 5QP

Times: 10pm- 3am

Dress Code: Very smart

Standard Entry: Ladies free before 11pm Gents £20

Tables: Available to book

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Guestlist and Table Bookings

Mayfair Club

The Mayfair club is reminiscent of an old James bond movie which is perfectly fitting as the martini lounge which has been created doubles up as a gentlemen s club during the week and during the weekend operate a full nightclub with a guestlist only door policy.

If you wish to attend the Mayfair Club on the weekend then you need to be on the guestlist or book one of the tables or booths that the mayfair club offers.

Tables at the mayfair club can be booked as either a VIP table or a standard table and these go from a £500 minimum spend up to a £1000 minimum spend in the VIP.

The Mayfair Club has most recently become the place to be for many of the wealthiest from the middle east. The Mayfair club held one of the most profitable night to celebrate the end of ramadan this year with hundreds of thousands being spent every day of the week. The venue is the only club around mayfair to hold a late license and many of the punters from Mahiki, Whisky Mist and Aura descend on The Mayfair club to continue their night until the early hours. The Mayfair club continues to operate as a gentlemans club during the week and has many of the most talented girls performing throughout the week.

Big celebrities such as Prince Harry have attended The Mayfair Club and famously was the venue which resulted in Danny Cipriani being sacked from the England squad after his late night out.

The guestlist is ladies free before 11pm and gents £20 at the door of the Mayfair club if you dress well and turn up in a mixed group you will have no problem!here in price!

There are many phrases that describe the Mayfair club; elegance, sophistication and overall grandeur. The owners of The Mayfair Club have clearly worked hard to make sure the club looks in great shape during the week and weekend despite everything going on!

When you are not receiving a private dance from one of the top model dancers then there is allot to keep you visual senses alive with LCD screen surrounding the venue which keep you eyes entertained!

Their are some truly unique booths in The Mayfair Club also and we strongly suggest you book once of these on the weekend to party at the mayfair club in true VIP style! If you would like to book a booth or an event at the club the let us know and we would be happy to assist!


Mayfair Club Address : Mayfair Club, 1 Dover St, Mayfair, W1S 4LD

What are Mayfair Clubs Opening and Closing Times: 10pm- 3am

Mayfair Club Dress Code: Smart

Guestlist details /Standard Entry: Ladies free before 11pm Gents £15

Tables: Available to book / start from a £500 spend

Mayfair Club policy: Guestlist only, get on the guestlist below

Membership: Everybody

Age restriction: Over 18s


SKy Bar London given an uninterrupted, breathtaking, 360° view of London, stretching for miles, is just one of many unique features to be found at Altitude London. The tallest Riverside building on the Thames with event space allocated to five floors. A total area of 4,000m2 over 14 subdivided rooms is complimented by a minimalistic design. The Grade II-listed building offers 9 event spaces and includes restaurants, bars, a cinema and a private members club. The venue is ideal for bespoke events.

Perched on the 29th floor of the Millbank Tower, guests of Sky Bar London are able to enjoy cocktails and the world's best DJs and performers, surrounded by plush banquette seating and furnishings while enjoying jaw dropping views of London's iconic skyline from the tallest riverside building on the Thames.

THE LONDON SKY BAR features a cocktail "pharmacy" and bar, with cocktails created to stimulate or relax the senses, listed in a menu under sections such as "aphrodisiacs", "stress relievers", "pain killers" or bespoke creations developed by skilled professionals to match your mood.



Address: Millbank Tower, 21-24 Millbank, London SW1P 4WQP, United Kingdom

Times: 10pm- 3am

Dress Code: Very smart

Standard Entry: Ladies free before 11pm Gents £20

Tables: Available to book




Movida Nightclub Read more


It's not often we here any complaints about Velvet PR's service however we found this funny compaint letter sent to the directors of Sizzling Pub chain! Needless to say they never received a reply....


To: ''

Cc: ''; ''; ''

Subject: Please forward this onto the relevant department.


Good afternoon,


I feel compelled to write in after a recent experience at The Travellers (Long Lane, Bexleyheath) today and feel I should share my experience with you.



Friday 28th May, 13.30pm (local time)


It was a sunny day and myself and my fiancé were both very excited at the prospect of filling our rumbling bellies after the mornings meal of cheerios didn’t quite fill the hole. After debating various options we decided that due to the location and proximity to the nearest lavatory we would pull into the travellers on Long Lane in Bexleyheath.


My first impressions from what I can remember was one of sheer delight as my penis tingled with excitement at the prospest of being able to relieve what felt like a reservoir into the base of the cubicle. Without a second thought I gladly relieved the contents of my phallus not forgetting to wash my hand before I walked to the bar to browse the menu.


We both scoured the menu for what seemed like forever, both of us unsure with some many choices on offer which gourmet experience we were going to select, however we both did eventually decide that the combo meal (steak and rib) and philliy burger were going to be the most exciting and fulfilling option.


After paying for both meals which came to around £13 we both decided that a game of pool would be a good idea as this would pass the time and bring our sumptuous meals to us quicker. I was just about to pot the black ball relegating my fiancé to the losers bench when we spotted the waitress with a beaming smile coming towards us, me and charis (my fiancé) both looked at each other and gave out a small wail of excitement which went unnoticed by the rest of the customers, however a small fart did pop out and marred the smell of my incoming combo meal.


We both sat down and our meals were put infront of us, forks at the ready but before I had a chance to dig in I had to scrape what seemed to be a gallon of a rather unpleasant BBQ sauce of the top of my meal. I peeled back the layers of this brown goo to reveal what can only be described as a slab of some sort of fossilized cow shit.


The steak knife that i was using didn’t stand a chance cutting into this meaty flavoured brick that despite being covered in sauce was drier than a nuns vagina. Worse was to come however. When I moved that aside using every last fibre of muscle from my already bulging bicep I encountered what was described on the menu as “RIBS”... however a think a better description of this would have been “shit stuck to a bone”.


Infact it was worse than shit, as this shit had not even been cooked correctly It was still alive, it was a fresh a shit as I have ever seen and had i not beaten it to death with my ketchup satchet It very well may have run off my plate and joined its mates at the bottom of pubs toilets. After beating it sufficiently I peeled the undercooked shit away from the bone and slowly it made its final journey to my gob where it did not stay for long as the combination of shit and BBQ sauce was not pleasant attal so I put it back down on my plate and if i can remember correctly let out a smaller fart than before.


Myself and my fiancé discussed the options available to us being;


• Pretend to enjoy it to avoid causing any fuss

• Try an hide the offending dishes in the pool tables pockets

• Go and change it for something that resembles something slightly less shitty


We both decided that option 3 would be the best option as if I did not eat soon my bum could quite well fall off. I made it to the bar without causing much attention from fellow customers and very discreetly called over the bar lady to explain that the dish that had been served to me was as edible as crusty bogey, she duly arrived and without a moment’s hesitation i explained that I simply could not eat this and could I possible order something else...


The look on her face send a shiver down my spine, like I had commented on her mother’s knickers and despite what she must have been feeling inside she gritted her teeth and replied in a soft but menacing voice “of course sir”.


It was at this point where i again scoured the menu for something that would be simple for a chef to cook and yet be tasty enough for me. I came to the conclusion that fish and chips would be hard to fuck up so i ordered it and made the walk of shame back to my seat where my fiancé was halfway through tucking into her philly burger.


Within what seemed like seconds what used to be smiley waitress plonked the “fish and chips” in front of me and scurried off before I had a chance to ask for a sick bag just in case. I tapped the crust or batter shall we say with the back of my fork and could not believe my eyes when as if URI Geller had been there himself, the fork bent into a 45 degree angle without even marking the surface of the “fish” I sat in shock as to my new physic powers until i realised that the coating in which the fish was set in was as hard as reinforced titanium, it was simply impossible to get into.


10 minutes went by and much banging and chiselling took place before I cracked the surface and revealed a mash potato like substance that almost resembled clotted breast milk and at this point I decided that I was in fact going to have to resign to the fact that I would be left hungry this lunch time.


Not only was the fish fucked, but the amount of oil being released from it was on par with the oil spill in Mexico at the moment, infact I was checking the bill to see if i had been charge fuel duty. I could have quite easily powered my glade touch and fresh for a century with the amount that was dripping of that god awfull peice of shit.


As i write this I am now at home feeling the effects of what has to be the worst meal i have ever had and unfortunately the farts that had been fairly enjoyable in the pub have now stained my white trousers and caused a severe blockage to my toilets pipes.


My arse from what my fiancé tells me looks like something out of “Aliens” and has produced a smell so vile that our dog has had to stay with the neighbour.


I do hope this email gets passed to the relevant department and a message can be sent back to the “chef” at The Traveller in Bexleyheath that I wont be returning for a long time, well at least until my arse has fully recovered and I believe his/her talents lie somewhere else, may they could take up science instead as they seemed to have created something truly vile and possible by accident they have generated a new species of shit which the world has never seen before.


I look forward to receiving confirmation of this email,


Have a great weekend,




Punk Soho is located just off of London's historic Soho Square and right in the heart of the Capitals nightlife and entertainment district.

Punk Soho operates throughout the week as one of London's prime bar and nightclub venues, offering the best international DJ's and entertainment, in plush and comfortable surroundings with friendly, welcoming staff and great service throughout.

Punk soho has changed considerabel from its earlier days where it was frequented by many of the east end crowd. Punk soho has now cememted itself within london's elite and brings not only the fashion conscious crowd from the east end but mixed in with the high end mayfair crowd as well.

Punk has now been sold and bought by the new owners formerley of Jet black and they plan to make Punk one of the biggest clubs in London. get on the guestlist while you can as Punk is going to explode!

Table reservations at Punk Soho can be made throughout the week for our booth areas, of which Group and Corporate bookings are always welcome.


We also offer a bespoke events and bookings service for private and corporate clients 

Entry Requirements

Entry price may vary throughout the week.

Standard entry for on Fridays & Saturdays on the door is £20. Persons placed on the Punk Guest list are charged at a concessional rate of £15. Ladies placed on the Punk Guest list arriving before 11pm are gain complimentary entry.

Conditions may apply to all concessions and entry is at the discretion of the Management at all times.

The Management holds the right to refuse entry to any guest at all times, there is no guarantee of admission at any point.
Dress code: Smart casual, no trainers



Address: 14 Soho Street, London, W1D 3DN

Times: 10pm- 3am

Dress Code: Very smart

Standard Entry: Ladies free before 11pm Gents £20

Tables:Available to book


Miabella Read more


Dorsia South Kensington is the latest venture from the duo behind the South Kensington celeb hang out, Boujis. Spread out over three floors of an elegant townhouse, Dorsia has a private members bar in the basement as well as a glamorous public bar on the ground floor and an upstairs dining room.

The Ground Floor Bar at Dorsia South Kensington includes a DJ booth with navy blue deep buttoned banquette seating which holds up to 100 people. An original fire place sits opposite with deep buttoned stools creating a flexible yet comfortable environment. French doors lead to the garden which has movable seating for flexible usage, perfect for private events




Address: Dorsia South Kensington

Times: 10pm- 3am

Dress Code: Very smart

Standard Entry: Ladies free before 11pm Gents £20

Tables:Available to book


Happy Halloween, this year has been awesome and everyone seemed to get into the spirit of it this year and I saw some great outfits as I said last month I always get really excited about Halloween and this year was no exception.


This year I was at No5 Cavendish Squares “Haunted House Party” which I have been to for the past 2 years. I would like to make a public apology to all of the people that queued outside for 2 hours dressed like a maggot and couldn’t get in. It was (excuse the pun) a bit of a “nightmare” as it was so busy.

I don’t know how many times that I need to tell people to get down early! This is the most important piece of information that people never take on board and then when they do arrive after 11pm and they have to pay at the door I get called up and I am expected to sort them out? Sometimes being dressed as Michael Jackson has its benefits as nobody can recognize me and I can just hide.


Another thing that really annoys me and annoys fellow promoters is “Bottle Pirates” as we say. There are different types each with their own unique style of blagging vodka from our table, the most common types include:


“Penniless Pillagers”- They come out with zero cash, no credit cards and not even so much as cab fare. Nothing like a girl drinking on your tab all night, then asking for £10 to get home or. Why have a purse with nothing in it? I wouldn’t go out with my wallet only full of Chapstick and gum.


“Bottle Buccaneers” - If you only ordered two bottles of vodka, then why does your bill include 10 cans of sugar-free Red Bull, a round of fruity drinks, a bottle of champagne and bottles of water? Blame the Bottle Buccaneers. They hang around just long enough to fool your server into thinking they’re authorized to add to your tab. If you see something fishy on your table (like a round of Sex and the City shots), then you’ve been the victim of a Bottle Buccaneer.


“Jolly Rodjers” - Yes, guys can be Bottle Pirates, too. A Jolly Roger is a guy who is always happy and very chatty (probably because he’s draining your drinks). He hangs at your table so comfortably that everyone just assumes that he’s friends with someone else at the table. The biggest problem with Jolly Roger Bottle Pirates? They have a big thirst and a small bank roll. How do I know this? I’m a recovering Jolly Roger myself.


This is the one thing that really annoys me when you get shown no thanks or appreciation in return for giving someone a free drink!


This month I have been obviously very busy organizing Halloween but I had the pleasure of attending a private performance of “Raquelle Gracie” performing her upcoming single. Check her out online! It is rare to see someone so pretty but able to really sing live she was amazing and I will definitely be in the queue to buy her single when it comes out. Watch this space! I was also out with the CEO of Quintessentially (the world’s biggest concierge service) where I literally couldn’t keep up, wow these guys can drink!


Next month I have some very exciting  news for you and I am attending Philip Salons birthday party at Aura Mayfair which who I explained last month holds the most flamboyant fancy dress parties! See you next month


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RITA ORE at DSTRKT Read more