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JLS at Aura!

  

Much like Tulisa, former X Factor stars JLS were pretty disappointed when so-called urban act MK1 were sent home over Kye Sones last night.

The group, who performed on the reality show prior to the sing-off, offered their advice to the duo on the Xtra Factor.

Aston Merrygold who was at Aura Nightclub said that he thought their exit was a “start for them” and suggested they should "stick together". He added:

“They have to move on and go 'what's next?'"

Bandmember Marvin Humes chipped in saying: "Someone's got to go, every week it's difficult to pinpoint the reason why... maybe they didn't connect with people at home."

When asked if MK1 have a future in the music business, Marvin seemed to think so:

"Yeah, I think they have. They were a band before they came into the show and they obviously had that solid unit and I enjoy watching them, I'm actually gutted they left. Hopefully they'll stick it out and keep going."

We’re not convinced – how many X Factor acts have gone on to be successful after getting booted out this early in the competition? Yeah, exactly.

Then, having doled out some words of wisdom to the dejected duo, Aston and Marvin headed out for a night with Tulisa (who stepped out looking like a giant sweet) at Aura Nightclub

Celebrities banned by nightclubs!

We all know celebrities get to party hard with all the money they have that gives them access to the amounts of booze and drugs that are unfathomable to us commoners. Not wanting a PR nightmare on their hands, most nightclubs just let these celebs blow off some stream with their reckless acts of debauchery that surely costs the venue a lot of money, but put up with all this as they feel honoured that celebs think enough of their club to go party there.

But believe it or not, sometimes even a celebrity can take things too far, and the people running the nightclub simply refuse to deal with that celeb’s crap anymore. Can’t really blame them though.

1. Britney Spears

Spears was banned from exclusive Hollywood nightclub Winston’s in October 2007. This was around the time when the world thought Britney went nuts, and it didn’t help that apparently Brit tried to force a bartender to swap dresses with her at a Halloween party the club held. You think this would’ve been enough of a lesson for Bit, but oops, she did it again in in March 2008 when she was also been from fellow Hollywood nightclub Villa because the club owners feared she would create a “media circus”. The idiots obviously didn’t realise having Britney there would give them free publicity!

2. Lindsay Lohan

It comes as no surprise LiLo’s on this list. This girl just can’t seem to keep out of trouble, making it very easy to forget she actually originally got famous from being in movies. Though she is no stranger to causing trouble at nightclubs, she was flat out banned from the Smoke & Mirrors nightclub at the Standard Hotel in Hollywood after supposedly getting into a fight with another patron. That only happened in early August 2012, so a new low for Low-han. But why does she cause all this trouble? Perhaps she’s just a mean girl.

3. Amanda Bynes

Only days after Lohan was banished, Bynes was also banned from Smokes and Mirrors after she arrived there just hours after being arrested for suspicion of a DUI in early August 2012. Maybe she should dress up as a boy like she did in She’s The Man to sneak in.

4. Paris Hilton

Paris was banned the Los Angeles nightclub LAX in December 2005 for bad mouthing her former bestie Nicole Richie. But why was a girl talking trash about another girl cause enough to get her banned? Nicole was dating the DJ working there! Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time!

How to be a DJ?

Pick a Speciality

  1. 1
    Decide whether you want to be a crowd pleaser or a music specialist.
    • Crowd pleasing means playing songs that would, most likely, hit the taste of the biggest number of people in any given crowd. This style of DJing is best suited to private events, such as weddings or small parties.
    • A music specialist sticks to a particular genre of music, regardless of what the crowd demands. Usually, these DJs play nightclubs who have specific genre standards or they have an established following based on a certain type of music.

Gather Equipment

  1. 1
    Know what you need. If you plan to play for a venue that already has a DJ setup, you might only need a laptop with music mixing software. Some music mixing software may be hard to learn, but there are some people who love to use dubstep software. If you plan to play in private venues, you'll probably need to provide your own equipment. Scope out what you need and what you don't for your particular job.
  2. 2
    Start with the basics. A basic DJ setup includes two turntables (or two CD players), headphones, and a mixer. Later on, you can invest in speakers, a monitor, a MIDI controller, an audio interface, a mic, and various plug-ins.
  3. 3
    Augment your performance with software. These programs will enable you to access a library of MP3s on your hard drive to compliment your vinyl and CD selections. More often than not, these programs provide live looping and scratching capability, delays and reverbs, real-time control and video and karaoke options.
  4. 4
    Don't forget your home studio. Most DJs record demos, playlists and original music at home. Make sure the equipment you bring to the club compliments the equipment you use at home. For example, if you're a hip-hop DJ, you'll probably want to invest in a scratch/battle mixer at home to simulate a competition environment.
  5. 5
    Be economical. Don't invest in top-dollar equipment right away. Most of your money should be spent on turntables and a mixer. Forget the other stuff for now. And spend wisely. Buy your decks used and your mixer new

Learn the Craft

  1. 1
    Observe. Find a DJ whose style you admire and observe him or her as much as possible. Pay attention to how songs are constructed and how the crowd is managed. After you've watched them a few times, approach the DJ after the show and ask for a few tips. Most DJs will be happy to help guide you if they know you're serious.
  2. 2
    Learn to mix beats. Beat mixing involves maintaining a constant beat while moving from one song to another, and can be done with varying degrees of complexity. Some DJs pre-record mixes at home, while others mix beats live. Either way, the goal is keeping the music constant so that dancers can keep going without a pause.
    • Know the BPM of your songs. The beats per minute (BPM) of a song will determine how smoothly or easily you can mix it with another song. You can calculate BPM by counting the beats yourself and using a stopwatch. (Some mixers will have a BPM counter on the board.)
    • Learn the intros and outros. Most dance songs will have an intro, in which the music is going but the vocals are not, at the beginning of the song, and a corresponding outro at the end. Mixing usually means blending one song's intro with the outro of another. Knowing when an outro starts and an intro begins is critical to live beat mixing.
    • Cue up the second song. Have your second song ready to go as your first one is winding down. Use one hand on the turntable or CD player's pitch to adjust speed (if your BPMs don't match) and put the other on the crossfader, so that the first song's volume decreases as the second song's volume increases.
    • Keep it simple at first. When you're starting out, make mixing easier by sticking to two songs that are within 3 BPMs of each other. You can also use two songs that are in the same key.
  3. 3
    Learn about all genres of music. Often you may know of a couple hit songs in a few genres, but that is not enough. You need to be a music expert. Here's a list of genres to explore:
    • House
    • Trance
    • Techno
    • Electro
    • Progressive
    • Breakbeat
    • Hardcore
    • Downtempo
    • Dubstep
    • Drum and Bass
    • Jungle
    • Hip-Hop

There's alot more but just know all of them.

 

Start Performing

  1. 1
    Find a gig. Depending on how you want to advance your career, you could start playing small, private events for a low fee, or take a slow, weeknight shift at a club or bar. Ask a friend who's hosting a party if you can DJ. Be aware that if you're inexperienced, you won't make much money at first and you'll probably have to keep a second job.
  2. 2
    Know the crowd. Having an idea of who your crowd is before the event begins is critical to successful DJing. If you're playing a wedding, for instance, be prepared to play more slow songs than usual and try to get a grasp on the bride's musical tastes beforehand. If you're playing a nightclub, get familiar with what the club owner prefers and what his or her regulars like. The regulars keep the club afloat and, by extension, pay your fee; learn how to keep them happy.
    • Be careful with requests. If you're playing a nightclub that caters to a hip-hop crowd and you have a tourist or someone unfamiliar with the scene requesting a song that doesn't fit with the genre, consider carefully before you play it. Remember, your aim is to keep the core of the audience happy and coming back.
  3. 3
    Use the music to manage the event. Divide different styles of songs into different sections. Play slower, quieter songs at the beginning of the party. Slowly slip into a jazzier groove, and pull out the heavier songs at the end. Above all, read the crowd and notice what they're responding to.

    • Don't play mostly fast songs at a wedding. This will take away from the romantic atmosphere.
    • Don't play mostly slow songs at a gathering of kids. They will get bored fast.

Develop a Following

  1. 1
    Build your charisma. As a DJ, you are responsible for entertaining a large group of people all by yourself. The music you play is important, but you also need to pay attention to how you act on stage. Don't just stand there hunched over your decks. That's boring. Try to be someone who attracts attention in a good way. Also, learn when to step back and let the group dynamic take over.
  2. 2
    Be professional. Show up to your events on-time and fully prepared. Give each gig your best effort. Have fun with the crowd, but keep your interactions professional and respectful - you never know who's watching.
  3. 3
    Keep a busy schedule. As you're gaining a fan base, play as many shows as necessary to get your name out there. Book yourself on a tight schedule at first to keep your interest alive and your creativity fresh. 
  4. 4
    Develop a Web presence. If you don't have the time or money to build your own website, start an account for your DJing career on Twitter or Facebook. Promote your shows, and make time to connect with your fans and personally respond to their messages.


    • Make playlists. Build playlists on iTunes or Spotify and share them with your fans. This allows them to sample your musical tastes, and lets you introduce people to new music you want to incorporate into your shows.

FUNNY COMPLAINT LETTER!

It's not often we here any complaints about Velvet PR's service however we found this funny compaint letter sent to the directors of Sizzling Pub chain! Needless to say they never received a reply....

 

To: 'media.centre@mbplc.com'

Cc: 'guest.services@mbplc.com'; 'company.secretariat@mbplc.com'; 'franchising@mbplc.com'

Subject: Please forward this onto the relevant department.

 

Good afternoon,

 

I feel compelled to write in after a recent experience at The Travellers (Long Lane, Bexleyheath) today and feel I should share my experience with you.

 

 

Friday 28th May, 13.30pm (local time)

 

It was a sunny day and myself and my fiancé were both very excited at the prospect of filling our rumbling bellies after the mornings meal of cheerios didn’t quite fill the hole. After debating various options we decided that due to the location and proximity to the nearest lavatory we would pull into the travellers on Long Lane in Bexleyheath.

 

My first impressions from what I can remember was one of sheer delight as my penis tingled with excitement at the prospest of being able to relieve what felt like a reservoir into the base of the cubicle. Without a second thought I gladly relieved the contents of my phallus not forgetting to wash my hand before I walked to the bar to browse the menu.

 

We both scoured the menu for what seemed like forever, both of us unsure with some many choices on offer which gourmet experience we were going to select, however we both did eventually decide that the combo meal (steak and rib) and philliy burger were going to be the most exciting and fulfilling option.

 

After paying for both meals which came to around £13 we both decided that a game of pool would be a good idea as this would pass the time and bring our sumptuous meals to us quicker. I was just about to pot the black ball relegating my fiancé to the losers bench when we spotted the waitress with a beaming smile coming towards us, me and charis (my fiancé) both looked at each other and gave out a small wail of excitement which went unnoticed by the rest of the customers, however a small fart did pop out and marred the smell of my incoming combo meal.

 

We both sat down and our meals were put infront of us, forks at the ready but before I had a chance to dig in I had to scrape what seemed to be a gallon of a rather unpleasant BBQ sauce of the top of my meal. I peeled back the layers of this brown goo to reveal what can only be described as a slab of some sort of fossilized cow shit.

 

The steak knife that i was using didn’t stand a chance cutting into this meaty flavoured brick that despite being covered in sauce was drier than a nuns vagina. Worse was to come however. When I moved that aside using every last fibre of muscle from my already bulging bicep I encountered what was described on the menu as “RIBS”... however a think a better description of this would have been “shit stuck to a bone”.

 

Infact it was worse than shit, as this shit had not even been cooked correctly It was still alive, it was a fresh a shit as I have ever seen and had i not beaten it to death with my ketchup satchet It very well may have run off my plate and joined its mates at the bottom of pubs toilets. After beating it sufficiently I peeled the undercooked shit away from the bone and slowly it made its final journey to my gob where it did not stay for long as the combination of shit and BBQ sauce was not pleasant attal so I put it back down on my plate and if i can remember correctly let out a smaller fart than before.

 

Myself and my fiancé discussed the options available to us being;

 

• Pretend to enjoy it to avoid causing any fuss

• Try an hide the offending dishes in the pool tables pockets

• Go and change it for something that resembles something slightly less shitty

 

We both decided that option 3 would be the best option as if I did not eat soon my bum could quite well fall off. I made it to the bar without causing much attention from fellow customers and very discreetly called over the bar lady to explain that the dish that had been served to me was as edible as crusty bogey, she duly arrived and without a moment’s hesitation i explained that I simply could not eat this and could I possible order something else...

 

The look on her face send a shiver down my spine, like I had commented on her mother’s knickers and despite what she must have been feeling inside she gritted her teeth and replied in a soft but menacing voice “of course sir”.

 

It was at this point where i again scoured the menu for something that would be simple for a chef to cook and yet be tasty enough for me. I came to the conclusion that fish and chips would be hard to fuck up so i ordered it and made the walk of shame back to my seat where my fiancé was halfway through tucking into her philly burger.

 

Within what seemed like seconds what used to be smiley waitress plonked the “fish and chips” in front of me and scurried off before I had a chance to ask for a sick bag just in case. I tapped the crust or batter shall we say with the back of my fork and could not believe my eyes when as if URI Geller had been there himself, the fork bent into a 45 degree angle without even marking the surface of the “fish” I sat in shock as to my new physic powers until i realised that the coating in which the fish was set in was as hard as reinforced titanium, it was simply impossible to get into.

 

10 minutes went by and much banging and chiselling took place before I cracked the surface and revealed a mash potato like substance that almost resembled clotted breast milk and at this point I decided that I was in fact going to have to resign to the fact that I would be left hungry this lunch time.

 

Not only was the fish fucked, but the amount of oil being released from it was on par with the oil spill in Mexico at the moment, infact I was checking the bill to see if i had been charge fuel duty. I could have quite easily powered my glade touch and fresh for a century with the amount that was dripping of that god awfull peice of shit.

 

As i write this I am now at home feeling the effects of what has to be the worst meal i have ever had and unfortunately the farts that had been fairly enjoyable in the pub have now stained my white trousers and caused a severe blockage to my toilets pipes.

 

My arse from what my fiancé tells me looks like something out of “Aliens” and has produced a smell so vile that our dog has had to stay with the neighbour.

 

I do hope this email gets passed to the relevant department and a message can be sent back to the “chef” at The Traveller in Bexleyheath that I wont be returning for a long time, well at least until my arse has fully recovered and I believe his/her talents lie somewhere else, may they could take up science instead as they seemed to have created something truly vile and possible by accident they have generated a new species of shit which the world has never seen before.

 

I look forward to receiving confirmation of this email,

 

Have a great weekend,

 

 

VODKA PIRATES!

Happy Halloween, this year has been awesome and everyone seemed to get into the spirit of it this year and I saw some great outfits as I said last month I always get really excited about Halloween and this year was no exception.

 

This year I was at No5 Cavendish Squares “Haunted House Party” which I have been to for the past 2 years. I would like to make a public apology to all of the people that queued outside for 2 hours dressed like a maggot and couldn’t get in. It was (excuse the pun) a bit of a “nightmare” as it was so busy.

I don’t know how many times that I need to tell people to get down early! This is the most important piece of information that people never take on board and then when they do arrive after 11pm and they have to pay at the door I get called up and I am expected to sort them out? Sometimes being dressed as Michael Jackson has its benefits as nobody can recognize me and I can just hide.

 

Another thing that really annoys me and annoys fellow promoters is “Bottle Pirates” as we say. There are different types each with their own unique style of blagging vodka from our table, the most common types include:

 

“Penniless Pillagers”- They come out with zero cash, no credit cards and not even so much as cab fare. Nothing like a girl drinking on your tab all night, then asking for £10 to get home or. Why have a purse with nothing in it? I wouldn’t go out with my wallet only full of Chapstick and gum.

 

“Bottle Buccaneers” - If you only ordered two bottles of vodka, then why does your bill include 10 cans of sugar-free Red Bull, a round of fruity drinks, a bottle of champagne and bottles of water? Blame the Bottle Buccaneers. They hang around just long enough to fool your server into thinking they’re authorized to add to your tab. If you see something fishy on your table (like a round of Sex and the City shots), then you’ve been the victim of a Bottle Buccaneer.

 

“Jolly Rodjers” - Yes, guys can be Bottle Pirates, too. A Jolly Roger is a guy who is always happy and very chatty (probably because he’s draining your drinks). He hangs at your table so comfortably that everyone just assumes that he’s friends with someone else at the table. The biggest problem with Jolly Roger Bottle Pirates? They have a big thirst and a small bank roll. How do I know this? I’m a recovering Jolly Roger myself.

 

This is the one thing that really annoys me when you get shown no thanks or appreciation in return for giving someone a free drink!

 

This month I have been obviously very busy organizing Halloween but I had the pleasure of attending a private performance of “Raquelle Gracie” performing her upcoming single. Check her out online! It is rare to see someone so pretty but able to really sing live she was amazing and I will definitely be in the queue to buy her single when it comes out. Watch this space! I was also out with the CEO of Quintessentially (the world’s biggest concierge service) where I literally couldn’t keep up, wow these guys can drink!

 

Next month I have some very exciting  news for you and I am attending Philip Salons birthday party at Aura Mayfair which who I explained last month holds the most flamboyant fancy dress parties! See you next month

 

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RITA ORE at DSTRKT

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